“I know that most mothers want their sons to grow up slowly, but I want my son to grow up fast so I can see him NOW“
Yesterday, I watched a documentary film on Lifetime channel with the title “I Don’t Have Time For This”. It’s a documentary follows the real life experiences of five women who are facing a disease that frighten all women in the world – breast cancer. One of them was Clare, a young woman who was diagnosed with cancer just days before her son was born. After that, just days after her son was born, she must start with her cancer treatment including some surgeries and chemotherapy.
That just didn’t stop there. Her cancer grew and developed again to other places, and the doctor said she didn’t have long time to live, but surprisingly she survived and raised her child happily and even accompanied him of his first day of school. She said she didn’t have time to feel sad because it was like wasting her (precious and limited) time. When her son asked her not to die, she just comforted him but she knew deep down inside her heart that she couldn’t promise him that.
Thankfully, her husband was very supportive and I could see that he really loved her so much and was afraid of loosing her. They decided to do what they had been dreaming all the time, and that was to travel. Both of them loved to travel and they brought their only son to travel and see the other side of the world. They took many pictures and videos together and really enjoyed their days.
When her cancer was finally reached her eyes, she knew that her time wasn’t long. That was when she said: “I know that most mothers want their sons to grow up slowly, but I want my son to grow up fast so I can see him now.”
I was so touched by what she said because it was so true for her. She was very happy at every milestone that her son achieved, including when she took him to school everyday. Imagine that she would miss her son’s first day of Primary School, College, wedding day………………that would be the saddest thing that a mother could have imagined. Sadly, she didn’t survive and died not long after that.
Her story really made me think. Life is indeed short and we don’t know when is our time. Even though she has gone and her son will not be able to know her when he grows up, but at least Clare’s son can remember her through the pictures and videos and so many memories that they already created together. He was still very small when his mother left him and I am certain that most old memories will be replaced with the new ones, but looking at his togetherness with his mother, even though just through pictures, will warm his heart and bring back the his memories of his happiest day in his life.
This story also made me think of main main reason of blogging. To be honest, making a new blog is very easy, blogwalking is very fun and inspiring, reading comments from other people really make my day, receiving compliments makes me feel really appreciated, but maintaining my blog really needs A HUGE EFFORT, extra time, persistence, concentration, and sometimes I must sacrifice my bedtime and my TV time. It is absolutely not an easy job to keep writing. I can be very lazy and not in the mood. Finding the right words, selecting and editing and inserting pictures one by one, doing final cross checking on the post before I finally click the submit button………………………..they’re all need great efforts……………….especially with no deadlines and no payment when I’m doing this……………….can make me neglect this blog for a very long time.
What always makes me come back to write is actually my main reason of why I blog…………..since the first time…………..the reason has never been changed even until now.
Yes, I want to make new friends through blogging, I want to share about our family trips, I want to help other people through my blog by sharing my simple family recipes, good places that we’ve been visited, how to handle school life, simple tips about my experience with my son, etc…………………….but my main reason will stay the same: I am always afraid that I might die young and my son will have no or very little memories about me, or I might grow old loosing all my memories. This blog will help us remember our togetherness. There, I said it.
Besides that main reason, I also want my son to read this when he grows up into teenagers and adults, and I do hope by the time he reads my blog, he will understand about my feelings for him, my considerations behind every decision and my every act. He might not understand now, but hopefully he will when he gets older and wiser. There are many decisions that I’ve made that he might not understand now, but I do it because I love him so much.
My very wise friend, Mary, a mother of a beautiful daughter told me this story. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but this was the conversation between her daughter and her after school. Her daughter said: “My friend said that her mother allows her to play with gadgets and watching TV everyday, and she also has so many toys and her mom will give her whatever she asks.”
Then my friend said to her daughter: “Next time when your friend say that again, you tell her that your mother LOVES me so much so she doesn’t want me to play with gadgets and watch TV everyday so I won’t spoil my eyes, and she doesn’t spoil with things so I can be a good person when I grow up”.
YOU ROCK MOM!
My friends sometimes ask me why I don’t have facebook, instagram, twitter, or other social media. I once had facebook but I already deleted my account, simply because I didn’t have time and mood to upload new pictures on my facebook. I always tells my friends that I prefer blogging than updating my facebook. I like to write, and even when I was in school I always told everybody that my hobby was writing. For me, I don’t like posting pictures in Facebook or instagram simply because I can not write the stories behind those pictures. Reading my own stories is therapeutic for me, and I always enjoy reading my old posts.
For me, there is a story behind every picture, and as long as I can, I would like to keep writing my family stories.