It’s getting a little tense in our house lately, especially with the exams coming only in few days. I get a bit impatient with the lil boy sometimes and sometimes it makes him cry (sorry baby, I really wish I could be more patient when I’m preparing you for the exams, and I am also learning many things in this process).
I do hope I can be a better mom for you after this. I do want you to success in your exams but I’m also afraid that I’m pushing you too much, but I know you can do it and you just need a little push from me, but I’m also afraid that you’d be so stress if I push you too much…………………..sigh…………….this is a never ending story, isn’t it?
My friend told me that recently there was a boy trying to commit suicide because he couldn’t bear the stress and this boy is still in Primary School, and I also read about some other who boy ran from home because his parents said he’d better not come home unless he scored 90 on his exam………………..and they all happened in here.
I read that there is a new good book launched not so long ago called “The Day The Ball Didn’t Bounce”, and this book is based on a true story about how Jay discovered his 16-year-old younger brother Nick hanging in his bedroom from a suicide attempt. I will try to get this book and share it once I finished reading it, although I’m not so sure either because just by reading the resume already makes me terrifying.
As a parent, I push my child because I know he can actually do it, although sometimes as a parent I don’t always know his limit to handle stress. If I don’t push him hard, I am also afraid that when he grows up he wouldn’t be a hard working person, wouldn’t dare to take the risk, and wouldn’t try to reach a higher quality of life day after day. It’s really difficult to be a parent…………. I just hope I do it right one step a a time.
And so he said “Wednesday is my first exam, and I’m a bit worried and not confident…………….”
And I said: “It’s okay to be worry and not confident, because that is what I always felt with my exams. Over confident people might sometimes not getting good results while the not so confident people get better results because worry and not confident will make us more careful and check again whether the work is correct or not”. I just hope I said it right………………
Well, at the end of the day before the exam started, this was what I told him and this was truly from the bottom of my heart: “Good luck with your exams. I’m sorry if I’m impatient with you. I know you’ve worked and studied very hard. No matter what your results are, I’m still very proud of you and I will always love you very very much…………..”
And being a very sensitive person, he cried after I told him that………………….and it melted my heart too…………….
And I am preparing myself when someday I have to take the opportunity and talk to my son about those topics (how to handle stress, suicide, running away from home, ups and downs in life, rejection from friends, etc……).There is still a fear though, for as parents can say they honestly know what their children (especially when the children are teenagers) are thinking.
As parents, we made decision and say things that we regrets but it is very important that we let the children know that no matter what happen they can always come home to the people who love them deeply and unconditionally at a place called home…………………
Phew………..and for some stress relief before the real exams started, we brought him to the driving range so he could hit 100 balls with his new golf stick!
He never liked lemon tea before, so it was a surprise that he finally said that he liked lemon tea. It all started when I invited my friend and her two sons ti have lunch in our house. I served lemon tea on the table. The boys were just coming home from school and it was a very hot day, and suddenly when I was talking to my friend, my boy had already finished one packet of lemon tea. Then the next day after he played with his friends in the playground (all sweat and dirty), I offered him lemon tea, he said yes and said it was sooo…..refreshing. So from that day, he likes lemon tea and even declares it’s his favorite drink!
Back to golf, he said he probably not very good in golf because he’d tried two times and still not doing it right. Well, I said it needs lots of practices and hard work to be able to master something, just like the time you learnt how to swim and ride a two wheels bicycle…………….you need months and hours to practice before you could do it without help. I hope he remembers what I said and will never give up without trying hard……………really hard……………..